Muslim Girl in America

I'm an American girl, born and raised, and a Muslim.

Familiar Familial Fights

on November 9, 2013

It’s my birthday today. It started out great; I had to work but I didn’t mind. I’ve recently started a skincare business and I went to a training session this morning. Afterwards, I felt great and energized. I met amazing women and we helped each other grow our businesses.

I feel like everyone should have one day for themselves, at least, each year. Oh, I try to fit some time in each day, whether it’s a few minutes reading in the evening or going to a concert here and there. But everyone deserves a day; I don’t think that’s too much to ask. A day where certain family members won’t call to wish you ‘Happy Birthday’ in one breath and spend the next telling you how unaccomplished you are and what a disappointment you are. And you shouldn’t have to justify how you spend your day, either.

Everyone’s selfish about something, and I’m no exception. But I try to do my best, each and every day, to give to others around me, including my family, some of whom I work so very hard to support. But people don’t always recognize or appreciate your giving; in fact, some people take advantage of you, and other people are jealous of you because you give back in a way they won’t.

And I’ve learned something about confidence. I have confidence at work; I work three jobs to support myself (and others). But when it comes to my family, my confidence seems to fly out the window. I just stand there and take it, letting the harsh words flow around me instead of into me (or at least I try to). I let them keep the ‘power’ over me, as it were.

I was recently at a family event and I just did not care what anyone said to me. I smiled, was pleasant, and spoke to everyone, but let no one’s comments bother me. I spent most of the time with my niece (a complete and utter joy in itself) and I just was not going to let anyone ruin my mood.

So, today, when the harsh words and reprimands came my way, I again decided to let the words flow around me. The other people won’t change. And no matter how many jobs I work trying to help them, I realized that, at the end of the day, I have to do things for myself first.

So I will continue to work hard, and support myself, and grow my business to help myself gain the financial freedom that I need and deserve. And yes, I will also continue to support the members of my family, too, because, no matter how they make me feel at times, it is the absolute right thing to do.

It’s hard not be reflective on your birthday. I am another year older, and still not married (though, as you faithful readers know, it’s not from lack of trying). I look pretty damn good, if I do say so myself, I am educated, accomplished, and I try to be a good woman, a good person, and a good daughter/sister/friend every day.

I am resilient. No matter the multitudes of harsh words and thoughts that have been vaulted in my direction, I get up and dust myself off and keep going; I am a survivor. I am more and more an optimist (to my own great surprise).

I don’t have another year behind me; I have another year in front of me, and I thank God for it. Another year to publish more writing, to grow my business and find financial freedom, another year to spend with my fabulous and supportive friends (and family), to travel more and experience more and, yes, to hopefully get married.

So, now I’m off to enjoy the rest of my day which, so far, has passed far too quickly.

Thanks for reading!



2 responses to “Familiar Familial Fights

  1. Hello Helwa says:

    Your story reminds me of my mother. She worked hard too, juggling between her 9-6 job and the business she is deeply involved, just to bring her family to financial freedom. Sometimes, the family does not give her enough credits for the effort she is taking. (: Thank you for this post.

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