Muslim Girl in America

I'm an American girl, born and raised, and a Muslim.

Speed Dating Update

on December 8, 2012

So, my last speed dating foray did not work out so well. Mr. Non-Repeater and I met up a few times and it was going pretty good. He spoke to my parents (at his request!) and we made plans for him to meet my brother. And then, he freaked out. He sent me some crazy novel-length text about he didn’t mind meeting my brother but he didn’t want to meet my brother and suddenly things were moving too fast. (Digression: Why do guys feel that texting is an appropriate way to break-up with someone or tell them they need space? Do real men not exist anymore, men who are man enough to at least call you on the phone and speak to you like a human being? To quote a song, “Where have all the cowboys gone?” I suddenly knew how Carrie felt being broken-up with via post-it.)


Mr. Non-Repeater also said that he had trouble “picturing me as his wife”– what the hell does that mean? – and that he needed to have a physical bond with the woman he was going to marry. WHAT?! To quote a line from a movie I saw – “No ding ding without the wedding ring.” As far as the whole “picturing me as his wife” thing, I think he meant that he didn’t find me physically attractive (clearly his eyes need checking).  I didn’t find him all that attractive, either (though my eyes don’t need checking) and I started thinking about why that was. Why are some people more attractive than others? After thinking about it and talking to one my best girlfriends, I realized that I grew up in the US, pretty much without Muslim male counterparts nearby, so all of my crushes were of the Caucasian variety.  But a good heart is sexy to me and I thought he had that which is why I moved forward. Anyway, he said he needed a few days to think, but then still texted me every day anyway. Then he calls me up as if nothing happened. I ask him if he’s feeling better since he seemed really upset the last time we chatted (after he sent the text) and he says he’s perfectly fine. Okaaay. Then he asks to meet – the day a hurricane is descending on our fair city. I tell him that I’m not going out when a hurricane is going to hit in a few hours. He says it’s okay. I say no, it’s not. He says, well why don’t we meet tomorrow? I say, maybe, if the hurricane’s over and I haven’t lost power and the roads are driveable and I won’t be risking life and limb, then  maybe we can meet (I mean, this isn’t “The Princess Bride” and he’s no Wesley; you’d risk a hurricane for Wesley. Or Jake from “Sixteen Candles”). Anyway, after talking with my parents,  I realized it wasn’t going to go anywhere. Anyone who just shuts down when something happens (and it seemed like pressure from his parents also contributed to the freak-out) then that isn’t someone you want to face life’s problems with you. But, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so I believe that everything worked out for the best.


Thanks for reading!



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