Muslim Girl in America

I'm an American girl, born and raised, and a Muslim.

Fifth times a charm?

on October 12, 2012

I think I must be crazy at this point to keep trying speed dating, but I guess I’m just not ready to give up all hope of ever finding someone; I’m such a Charlotte in that way.


Anyway, last time I ended up meeting with Mr. Unambitious and Mr. Big Family.


Mr. Unambitious (read up on my first impression of him from the last event) was a nice guy – friendly, made me laugh. He was shorter and younger than me – which tends to turn guys off – but he didn’t seem to mind. The problem was that he said he wanted to move overseas in 10-15 years (a recurring theme, I’m finding out), which is exactly when I would NOT want to move anywhere. By then you’ve got some kids who already set in a school system. And if they’re in high school, it’s especially difficult for them to make a transition to a new school, not to mention a new country. While I am all for traveling and expanding horizons, moving to a new country during such formative years may not be the best idea, in my opinion.


Mr. Big Family and I got along great – we chatted easily and, most importantly, we seemed to have the values and thoughts about marriage and family. We went out on 4 “dates” – yes, 4! – when, on the 4th one he tells me he doesn’t want to get married for 5 years because he wants to start a business first. I tell him I am at the point in my life where I want to get married and start a family (which I mentioned right at the beginning, at the speed dating event), so we parted ways. You know, we didn’t have everything in common (I don’t think you’ll ever find someone who does), but finding someone who shares the same values is a big plus – the rest is just details, right?


Anyway, here’s my latest foray. It was a lot like last time with very few people – only 3 guys. Two of these guys were repeaters. Sigh.


Bachelor #1, Mr. Non-Repeater. So this was someone new. He had a good sense of humor and a very positive attitude. Our conversation got a bit stunted at points, but we did talk about Pakistan (as he’ll be going there next year for a visit) and about the different regions and what to expect when you visit them. I moved the conversation to more personal questions (e.g. What do you do?) and just when he asks me what I’m looking for the bell rings to signal the guys to move to the next table. Was I saved by the bell? Was this divine intervention? Or was it just a coincidence and I am clearly over-analyzing everything? Yeah – I think it’s the latter one, too.


Bachelor #2, Mr. Potential Returns, Again. So this was a guy I met again at the third speed dating event. He was still the same affable gentleman. We talked about work and about how I am seeking a new position and how bosses who like to verbally abuse their employees are pigs. Then he also shares a story about his boss and the conversation goes from there. Not exactly light-hearted speed dating conversation, but this could ostensibly be considered our 3rd “date” – at which more serious conversation is, I feel, completely acceptable. He doesn’t really ask me questions or comment on our past meetings, but we have a nice chat, I drop a hint I’d be interested in speaking to him more, and the bell rings and we are parted once again. Of course, if this is my 3rd “date” with this guy, then it’s also my 3rd date with (shudder) …


Bachelor #3 – Mr. Judgmental Returns Again, Again. So last time this guy said he would contact me, though he never did. So he started by giving me an excuse as to why he didn’t call – “Oh, I got busy with work”, etc., and I just nod politely.”Sure,” I say, “that happens.” I think again to He’s Just Not That Into You – “If a guy’s interested in you, he’ll let you know it”. Well, I have to say I’m relieved here. I’m not that into him, so the fact that he’s not paying any more attention to me suits me just fine. He’s still a jerk. He asks me what I remember about him. I say, “You work in IT and like reading non-fiction.” He responds, “So what, because I’m [Pakistani], I must work in IT?” I say, “No, that’s what you told me you did the other times we’ve met.” He nods his head and says, “Oh, right.” He remembered that I liked to write – that’s something, I guess. Then the night comes to an end. I start putting on my coat and scarf and make to leave and he keeps talking and engaging me in conversation. IT’S OVER. GO AWAY. After my coat is on, I head out. At least, since there weren’t that many people, I make it home to catch most of the Vice-Presidential debate, though I missed The Big Bang Theory and 30 Rock – oh, the tradeoffs we make.


Have I reached the point of no return here? I mean, some of these guys have seen me at 3 events now – so if they say they’re interested in me, does that mean they just realized what a fabulous person I am? Or was I just better in comparison to the other 4 ladies there that night? Guess we’ll find out …


Until next time, my faithful readers – Thanks for reading!




One response to “Fifth times a charm?

  1. […] For those of you keeping track, this is Round #7 (read up on the past events here: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6).  I don’t know why they decided to hold it over a long holiday weekend. Because of that, […]

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